DOGGON IT

By the way, you may want to carefully want to observe dear ‘Fido’ during just one outing. Follow his nose; see it disappear again and again. The world is his bathroom and he rejoices in it.

Now bring him home. He is so friendly; he’ll lick everything in sight, including your baby, your teen-ager and the kitchen sink. It’s not healthy, honest. Ask your doctor. If you and your neighbor used simple hygiene the world would be a little bit cleaner and safer.

So, be a good citizen. Be a pet. Pick up where your dog leaves off.
If this does not grab you, the cops might. There are laws against poo-poo platters left around.

Let me preface this article by saying that I love all animals including dogs and human animals. Some of my best friends are really dogs.

I can no longer sit back and say nothing. I will not tolerate the ‘rank’ irresponsibility of dog owners who blithely walk away from deposits their pets leave on my lawn or on yours.

Lawns aren’t the only benefactors – public sidewalks roads and parks come in for their share of the loot. Taint fair. All this constitutes a pedestrian hazard, to say the least, and the bigger the dog, the bigger the hazard,

Let’s face it – lawns don’t like it, lawnmowers don’t like it, carpets don’t like it, and I don’t like it, particularly when my friends or relatives retreat as I draw near, after inadvertently ‘putting my foot in it’.

I’m not blaming our canine friends. They are without guilt for they do not know what they do. Instinct prevails and predominates. They are attracted to the odors and material other dogs leave behind. They sniff and nuzzle, tails wagging furiously at various spas throughout the course of their outing. At a precise spot, mysteriously chosen, they deign to do their thing. I believe the leg lifting or squatting program prior to the one spot holy enough to receive their ultimate gift, is simply and instinctive, territorial charting before the parting.

Unlike their masters, dogs at least try to cover up the scene of the crime. They work so hard at the task, hind legs going great guns some four feet away. It’s unfortunate that years of domestication have ruined their aim.

I owned a dog or two in my time. At every outing I would come prepared with part of yesterday’s newspaper. At the precise moment I was able to effectively save a lawn from insult by a simple deft movement. The lawn smiled up at me.

Those were the early days. Modern technology has made it easier to be a sanitary engineer. Simple picker upper devices exist to satisfy every need. There are short and there are long devices that simply pick up anything, including your pet’s leavings.