JUST WORDS

“He’s got great buns,” modern women are wont to say. I say, if the gals want to describe our rear ends, let them be less euphemistic. They may just come out and say, “He’s got some ass.” Put the buns back where they belong ladies, in the bakery or the kitchen.

Another word that bothers me is,”Hunk” particularly when it is applied to some other male. Honk if you see a hunk?
“He is some hunk,” one girl will say to another as they watch a well built young man go parading down the street. There are dozens of adjectives that can be used to describeme or any other handsome man. We are not hunks of meat.

I don’t like women referred to as broads or dames. There were men who grew to adulthood before realizing that women are ‘Ladies’ and not a foreign word. These guys even double dip by saying, “That broad is some dame,” while foaming at the mouth.

There is a time and a place for certain words. The place is bed and the time is anytime you have your sweetie close to you. Feel free to come out with all the four letter words you want.

When I was in the army a century ago, the prime word was “fuck”.
It was almost like a contest, an ongoing one to see who could insert the word most often in a given sentence. I could never win against the shitfaces who used the word as a noun, an adjective, and an adverb.

“Fart,” I’ve said it and I am deeply ashamed. One simply does not fart, ever. One passes wind, one breaks wind and runs like the wind to avoid embarrassment. One can flatulate simultaneously with another consenting adult for competitive purposes or scientific research. Farting may lead to parting and even divorce. Be brave and repeat after me, “Beans, beans, are good for the heart, the more you eat the more you want to eat.” Got you, it is not necessary to end it with a you know what.

An absolute no-no is: He/she sucks. I can’t see the validity of this expression, made possible in the sixties. It’s empty, it’s vapid, and mindless. In other words, it sucks.

“Tits,” have been around a long time, too long I say, as a word replacing breasts. You cannot replace breasts, they have been around a very long time. Breasts are appropriate, so are mammaries, globes, teats and possibly udders. Now you tit men out there, be kind, be gentle, use your imagination as well as your hands.

I can’t stand the phrase, “He’s well hung,” Women and some men in certain instances, use this expression too frequently. We are not slabs of meat or ballet dancers wearing jock straps cunningly contrived to push every damn thing ever north. I say gentlemen, conceal your jewels until the very moment, then flash suddeny and listen to them say, “Gosh, are you ever well hung.” I have to close my ears before the fairer sex say what I know they are going to say next.

Can we forego “Go.” I go, she goes, they go. Can we more adequately day, “I said, she said, and they said, Please.

Let’s cut out ,”Fanny,” and stop making asses of ourselves.

Use our mother tongue reverently or for other more important tasks.